I’ve been struggling.
Last night a blogger started following me. I knew who she was and always thought she was gorgeous (she is) so I clicked on her Instagram page and saw she was sharing her botox and lip injections on Stories. That’s not unusual in the blogging community, but still I asked myself Why?? She’s a BABE in her TWENTIES. But then it hit me- maybe she’s going through the same thing I am but in a different sort of way.
When I started I viewed blogging as this awesome bridge between the editorialized fashion industry and us real-life girls. I saw it as a way to inspire you through sharing beautiful achievable ideas to apply to your everyday life. A few months in though, I realized what I THOUGHT the blogging world was about is SO FAR from what it actually is. Somehow every blogger I loved was a size 0 (maybe 2), carried a designer bag, always dressed in the latest trends and looked impeccable wherever she was, whatever she was doing. Outfit matched location, lighting was perfect…and her pose? Yeah that was perfect too.
Every picture. Every. Single. Day.
And without even realizing it I thought I had to be like that to make it. So I pushed myself. I learned contouring like my face depended on it, grew out my hair, hit the false lash aisle and found a killer self-tanner. Ridge and I nailed the poses, the lighting, composition, angles, editing. And I bought the designer bags and shopped the latest trends. I worked hard to keep my voice real and relateable to you and share ideas you could use, but I felt guilty because my pics never truly felt like the real Terra.
But we grew. We grew and grew and suddenly I was surrounded by this amazing community of you. That’s always been the best part but I felt a trapped because my carefully curated, edited images had something to do with getting me there.
And you know what’s worse? I still felt I wasn’t enough- beautiful enough, perfect enough. As my blogger friends went on to get hair extensions and talk about microblading, body sculpting, botox and lip injections I felt like I was falling behind.
The pressure was intense so I tried a few things. I highlighted my hair, wore lashes and even experimented with lash extensions. The color damaged my hair and I had to get inches off from dead ends. And my lash extensions? Yeah, half of them fell out the first night I slept on them with an eye mask. But I never told you about these disasters because of the pressure to ‘have it together’.
So what’s wrong with the hair extensions, lip injections, microblading, body sculpting, or botox? Nothing. But for me personally I’m drawing a line. I won’t be doing it because I know I’m beautiful in God’s eyes, in Ridge’s eyes, and yes- in your eyes, my beauties. And because I’m putting my foot down to this unhealthy pressure.
I’m making you a pact with you. I’m no longer going to change things about myself from pressure to look a certain way. And I’m not going to worry about my makeup or blog photos but focus on the value they’re there to bring you to begin with.
I spent some time looking at the blog posts you guys read most and noticed they’re always the ones where I’m keep things REAL. You love when I share my struggles, my relationship, my hopes and dreams for Juliana- and when it comes to fashion and beauty, you love the practical posts with beauty hacks or how to find that perfect pair of jeans.
So yeah, blog posts are going to change a bit and it’s a little scary because the big brand collaborations are starting to come in. It’s easy to live in a comfort zone of ruffled tops and gingham dresses but you guys have told me you want more. And you come first.
Besides leveling up for you, my hope is to get back the peace and joy I had when I started- before this rancid pursuit of perfection sucked it all out. I still plan to create something beautiful- outfits, images, makeup looks- but I’m no longer focusing on ‘perfect’ but the reason for the picture in the first place.
If you made it all the way down…thanks for sticking with me sister. I’m so excited to have you as we make FMF the fun, sassy, badassy REAL, HELPFUL blog it was always meant to be.
LYLAS!
Terra
I love this post so much! Good for you, girl! Raising daughters, I think it’s soooo important to help to see that “perfect” isn’t a thing. You have to own who YOU are, because who you are is wonderful all by itself! Xo.
Author
Girl I couldn’t agree more. I think as girl moms it’s important to instill in them early that they are perfect and beautiful exactly how they are!
I love this so much! You’re always so real. I’m proud of you.
Author
Thank you Courtney! I’m so glad we have gotten to connect. So proud of you too sister. <3
I can relate so so much !!! Thank you for being real and posting this, I think we all need a reminder that we are ALL beautiful the way that we are and don’t need to compare ourselves. I always feel so insecure and sometimes honestly get upset that my photos and I myself don’t measure up to those “perfect” bloggers who are absolutely flawless from top to bottom. You are beautiful and a strong woman, excited to follow you on this journey ????
Author
I’ve felt how you just described so many times. You are beautiful, worthy and amazing for who YOU are. Also I know my “pretty” images are the edited version of the best of 50 shots, so I think it’s important to keep that in mind too. <3
Aww I love this! Being perfect is overkill. I’m so far from that and I can’t even try to portray it! I’m happy for you and I love supporting you!
Author
Total overkill x) Thank you so much Jillian. I love supporting you sister! <3
Aww I just love this post Terra! I do have my moments that I feel I am not perfect enough and trying to get in better shape to look perfect on Instagram and always watching my poses while doing photoshoots to make the certain look. It’s so exhausting trying to be perfect and girl you are just perfect just the way you are and I love your outfit posts! Keep it up girl❤️ Love always xo
Author
I know what you mean girl. It can be so exhausting! It honestly feels so good to say the heck with it- I’m still going to make something beautiful but no longer am I going to beat myself up about whether I’m ‘good enough’ or look ‘pretty enough’ in a pic.
Well done and well said. I have stopped following a number of people on Instagram simply because I felt like I wasn’t as good / perfect as them. I know the reality but it still doesn’t stop you trying. Hope it works out well for you!
Author
Thank you so much, Rebecca. I know what you mean. Sometimes instead of feeling inspired, it can make you feel like your life isn’t good enough and that’s unhealthy territory. You are beautiful and every single one of us is perfectly imperfect. <3
Yes yes yes! I am 34 and sometimes the pressure to keep up with the 20 somethings in the blog world is hard……but I try to stay true to myself….although we can all get lost and caught up in the IG world sometimes………..were all human though…….we all have faults ……..no one is perfect no matter how it looks on social media
Erica Valentin
http://www.LiveStyleTravel.com
Author
It’s hard girl!! So much pressure. But people love imperfect…they want to know we are real people at the end of the day. <3
I love your post. I am new to blogging. I noticed the BRAND and the pose thing in the blogging community. I am on budget. I try to find ways to look good while on budget. I did too try contouring (no way I can try lashes, they scare me 🙂 ). But I still cannot afford big brands name to own nor I am considering spending money on them even if I can afford them. I buy and try to save on what’s important. SALE is my friend. You touched me in your words. I felt I have to be like them to be noticed especially I am so new but then I want to be me not them. I am not 5’9 size 0. I am 5’2 size 0 sometimes 2. I am not perfect. my lighting sometimes sucks but that’s why I thought blogging is not for VS models for people like me and you who want to inspire people and wear fashion not looking like VS.
Thanks,
Chez-Rama
https://www.chez-rama.com/
Author
I’m so glad it resonated Rama. It’s so important to be yourself. As long as you are true to you and providing a real tangible value to your audience people will love you for that.